Wednesday, October 26, 2011

This stuff is so true..

Truths For Mature Humans


1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.


2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.


3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.


4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.


5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?


6. Was learning cursive really necessary?


7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.


8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.


9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.


10. Bad decisions make good stories.


11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.


12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.


13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.


14. "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this - ever.


15. I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? **** it!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voice mail. What did you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?


16. I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.


17. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.


18. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.


19. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay.


20. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.


21. Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the heck was going on when I first saw it.


22. I would rather try to carry 10 over-loaded plastic bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.


23. The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.


24. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.


25. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?


26. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!


27. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.


28. Is it just me or do high school kids get dumber & dumber every year?


29. There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.


30. As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate bicyclists.


31. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.


32. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my *** everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time!

14 comments:

  1. Wow I love love love these!! The bicyclist one is my favorite!! And avoiding ghettos is genius....you should invent it!! :-)

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  2. I love this! I saw it floating around facebook a few weeks back and about fell off the couch laughing!

    www.kalynernest.com

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  3. These are great, I love #1, that is so very true and would give such peace of mind. I love the one about Mapquest too, I hate having a 1/2 page of info on how to get out of my driveway. I only dissagreed with the texting one, I just got my niece to stop texting in the car, she almost went through a red light, but by her logic she was OK to text because she was only going about 30, ugggg! Thanks for stopping by the other day, I am following back and looking forward to reading more. :)

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  4. stopping by from blog hop and now following you back via GFC. Very cute site!

    Amy Hollingsworth
    amy_hollingsworth@sbcglobal.net
    Couponing & Reviewing in Texas

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  5. What a great list! AND all so true! A little late for the blog hop but I hope you will hop on by here www.MySkinConcierge.Blogspot.com

    Chat soon!

    Ava Roxanne @MySKinConcierge

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  6. Hilarious! I enjoyed reading every one. Thanks for sharing.

    Thanks for joining the Flock Together hop this week and for following Mom's Best Nest. I am now you 371st follower. Hope to see you again on Tuesday!

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  7. thanks for having hopped by my site. I like this list, so much of it is so true!

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  8. Great list! I swear if you google martha stewart I'm sure she'll tell you how to fold a fitted sheet. And I'm following you back.

    Rebecca

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  9. hehehe hilarious! U've spoken for most of us on one or all points.
    n following u back from http://beautysecrets-reviewed.com/

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  10. This made me laugh out loud. :) Thanks for stopping by and I am returning the follow. Can't wait to see more! :)
    Jen
    http://bobjenjack.blogspot.com

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